Dealing With Upset Parents – How Leaders Deal With It

Thair is an actual complaint form for parents. That national has a 100% guaranty on. More info later, let’s jump into this. We are talking about disagreements and not actual safety or YPT issues.

Parents get mad or upset for many reasons.
• Personality or cultural differences
• A preserved unfairness
• Confronted with something that they don’t want
• It’s just your turn…

Self-resolving conflict – this is a solution that is handled by the upset person over time.
Cooperative Resolutions – First off, everyone in scouting and families of the scouts is bound by the scout oath and law. These are the ground rules which we live by. This is a foundation of trust and familiarity.
• The most important skill as a leader is “Active Listening”. (Courteous)
• A conscious effort to listen must be made to learn all the facts of an issue.
• Filter out fealing statements or derogatory assumptions as these are the emotions and not the issue.
• Don’t shut down or walk away. (Not Friendly, & Kind)
• Determine if they want a response from you. They will ask when they’re ready, but they may not be ready to hear what you say.
• Restating the issue may be needed to start a solution with understanding.
• The most important question is “What do you want?”
• The answer to this question is the solution to the conflict.

The Wood Badge “Managing Conflict” training is a good resource for leaders to handle conflicts. You should go to Wood Badge!

The complaint form with the 100% warranty is… The Adult Application! “Thiers no problem, if you’re part of the solution.”

🌐 Wood Badge Website: https://www.scouting.org/training/adult/woodbadge/
📄 Scouting Magazine on Wood Badge:  https://scoutingmagazine.org/2014/02/wood-badge/
🎬 What is Wood Badge? (Compilation of videos.) https://youtu.be/q-iJSQ-tQTI

⚠️ For additional information about Wood Badge, please contact your local council service center.

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Order of the Arrow, After Brotherhood What’s Next?

Now that the ties of Brotherhood are upon you, what’s next?
• Get into your chapter/lodge activity weekends!
Inductions Weekend – In the South, this is done during the winter. Up North, it may be done in warmer times of the year, including at Summer Camp.
Spring Conclave – Let’s have fun.
Service Weekend – Let’s help camp get ready for summer and have fun doing it.
Fall Fellowship – Let’s have fun.
Section Conference – A group of lodges in your area having fun.
NOAC – All the lodges in the nation having fun.
• Work with your Troops/Crew OA Representative.
• Find a place to help out in your chapter.
Ceremonies Team – Lots of ceremonies to perform. Principals, regalia, etc.
Drum Team – Keep the beat and feel the spirit. Drummers, Dancers, etc.
✔ Spirit Team – Always need help with planning upcoming events.
Elections Team – Helping others to look for their arrow.
Leadership Team – Lots of positions to fill. Chapter Chief, Assistant CC, Treasurer, Historian, Elingomats, etc.
• Adults brothers can help give leadership to the chapter and lodge teams. Typically if you are not the chapter advisor you’re an associate advisor of some capacity.
• Youth brothers in the spirit of the OA should strive to achieve the highest scouting rank.
• Remember Troop/Crew service comes before Chapter or Lodge.

⚠️ Fact Checked: There was no NOAC in 2010 there was a National Jamboree. There was a NOAC in 2009, 2012, 2015, and 2018 which messed up the scheduled “four-year” scheme. The 2020 NOAC was postponed due to the coronavirus pandemic.

🌐 BSA National OA Website: https://oa-bsa.org/
📺 Tipisa Lodge NOAC 2015 Channel: https://www.youtube.com/channel/UCejMAY4zaITjtcei7Z5IEmw/
🎬 ScouterStan Video Blog NOAC 2012 Playlist: https://www.youtube.com/playlist?list=PLlP1tCTA5P8xWKodT1c0jRoby6bXbKz3Q
🎬 ScouterStan Vlog NOAC 2015 Playlist: https://www.youtube.com/playlist?list=PLJojecnW_zSpbbfWId6onJT64TTkUX-k7

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How to Deal With Homesickness – Home Sick?

First time on their own. 2nd or 3rd night at summer camp – Most new Scouts develop self-imposed anxiety or homesickness when a routine has been established and the scout is not occupied with activities. Adult leaders need to be ready for this eventuality. Remember a Scout IS Friendly, Courteous, and Kind and that holds true for the adult leaders too.

Symptoms: Sad, crying, irritable, oversensitive, or acting depressed.Causes: Immature separation anxiety (ISA), self-imposed worrying, and feelings of depression. Treatment: Compassion, understanding, listening skills, reassurance, and time. Buddying up with more experienced scouts helps. Keeping the schedule to a limited downtime. Recovery: Self-reliance, control skills, and mental maturity. Able to handle depression and sadness better.

Before you go: Setting up the right frame of mind will help them cope with homesickness. Parents have the “away talk” before they leave. Don’t tell them that you will miss them… (even if it’s true.) Just don’t bring it up. Reassure the scout will have a good time and it will go by quickly. Soon they will be back home wondering if they ever were at camp. Use words like “adventure” and “exciting” when talking about the upcoming trip. Reassure the scout that chores around the home and pets will be taken care of during the short time they are away. Let the scout know you will be OK and will see them soon. “I can’t wait to hear the great stories of your exciting adventure.”


Sending care packages? – I would only recommend one care package if any. Some parents hide a note in their scout’s packed underwear or shower towel. Some parents go as far as to put money in the envelope. It’s always a big surprise to the scout when they find it and a disappointment when the parents find it in the washing machine after camp. Letters From Home? – It can take some time for letters to arrive at camp. Keep it simple like a card with a signature. Keep the encouragement upbeat. “Missing you” or “wishing you were here” can be devastating. Long letters tend to be read over and become an obsession when scouts are experiencing anxiety and self-created stress.

Calling Home? – This is probably controversial as I believe it causes far more problems than it solves. The scout inevitably surrenders to their homesickness and will beg to go home. Parents will get panicky as often there too far away or do not have enough time to rescue their scout. Or the parent will get upset with the adult leaders for putting them in a situation where they have to tell the scout no. Calling home is the absolute last resort. If this is the only option the adult leader should make a preliminary phone call (without the scout or the scout’s knowledge) and talk with the parents about the situation. Acting on this option of calling home can go terribly wrong in many ways. The scout’s self-esteem and dignity can be damaged. His or her relationship with their parents can be damaged. In many situations, this humiliation can cause the scout to leave scouting completely. I highly do not recommend this option.

Family Day? – If the scout is dealing with homesickness this may turn into an in-person “calling home” situation. Make sure that the adult leadership is aware of any family arriving at camp before their visit.

Cell Phones? – Parents will often have problems with separation and will insist that their scout have a cell phone so that they can communicate during camp. There are many reasons that this can be very problematic. A “free-range” cellphone in camp can quickly get out of control. It’s also defeating the whole point of going to camp.

⚜️ Note: Scout leaders job #1 is Safety. We must also guard the safety of our scout’s self-esteem and dignity. Homesick scout should talk with the adult leaders, not in front of other scouts or “on stage”. The Youth Protection Training (YPT) should always be in mind and used when counseling scouts.

🌐 Scouting Safely & Homesickness: https://www.scouting.org/health-and-safety/safety-moments/homesickness/
📄 Scouting Safely & Homesickness PDF: https://filestore.scouting.org/filestore/HealthSafety/pdf/680-055(18)_Homesickness_WEB.pdf
🎬 Camping Mode on Your Smartphone? Scouting and your Mobile or Cell Phone: https://youtu.be/-t6_6TEfWM8

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Thank you for 1000 Subscribers – 1K? WOW! I mean really…?

There are 31,000,000 YouTube Channels and only 76,179* have more than 1K Subscribers. That represents about 0.2457% of channels on YouTube. 2,000 channels have more than 1 Million Subscribers.

🏆 THANK YOU FOR SUBSCRIBING TO OUR CHANNEL!

*ScouterStan stated in the video “67,179”. According to posting research, this is 10K less of the actual reported numbers today, but the percentage was correct with the newly adjusted amount.

It’s hard to think in numbers like this until you consider:

◼ A large Pack or Troop of 100 individuals. Scouts, Scouters, and parents. A big Blue & Gold, a Troop Court of Honor.

◼ Now times that by 10…  University of Scouting numbers. This is OUR accomplishment. Our community here on YouTube has accomplished:

🎯 1K Subscriber making us an “Opel Level Channel”
🎯 Over ¼ of million total video views on the channel
🎯 With only 100 uploads published on the channel
🎯 1 year of total watched time on the channel
🎯 Hundreds of comments and with over 1,500 Likes
🎯 Slow, health growth of just over 3% monthly

We started on this journey back on March 12, 2011, that’s almost 10 years ago. ScouterStan has committed to another season of Commissioner Weekly. 4th Season – has already started the production process. We are looking at a re-due of the “Knotty Thoughts” series. That will be more for adult leader instruction and FTC – COPPA compliant. “Hines 57” is back in December… And more…

The NEW Community Tab on the channel is now open for subscribers to use. I’ve already put up a survey about Season 4 of CW. This is our channel and you are a part of our journey. Thank you, and I’ll see ya on the trail.

🎬 ScouterStan Playlists: https://www.youtube.com/user/scouterstanley/playlists
🌎 Official Website of ScouterStan: http://www.scouterstan.com/
🎵 The theme music used in Season Two of Commissioner Weekly is “Fargo” by Riot. You can download it from the YouTube Audio Library here: https://www.youtube.com/audiolibrary_download?vid=6187c94ae427bba6
🎨 The logo of the ScouterStan Channel was created by Eagle Scout Daniel Richards. It was inspired by the famous artisan R. Tait McKenzie “Ideal Scout” bronze statue (1937) that was just outside the BSA headquarters in NJ in the 60s. Logo Designer, Daniel Richards of OSHOBE Graphic Arts Company is available at http://oshobe.com.

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